I'm not a good person, that's well-fuckin-established
And I don't wanna be nice, I'm more prone to fuckin stab shit
Or nab shit or slam shit or grab shit or damn shit
I'm fuckin evil, it's no secret, I don't keep that shit candid
And so I'm branded as an asshole, well that's just fuckin fine
I never rejected that label, that fuckin title is mine
I'm in your house in the night and I'm snatchin all of your dimes
I mean your money and women, I'm even leavin a sign like
"Your cash and your bitch are with me, U MAD?"
And then I see you hella cryin and shit, U SAD?
I'm cuttin you up from head to toe the blood is sprayin to and fro
My knife is slicing through your dome tonight you won't be goin home
My body count's on overload your body slouches to the floor
My shotty takes down three or four, must be 18 to see the gore
I'm all about the green and whores, I'm robbin all the liquor stores
Drunk drivin in my fuckin Porsche and smashin through your doors 'cause

I'm a jerk (I know)
So why you actin like you don't?!
You're actin all surprised when I'm leavin your shit broke
So next time you point it out, don't think your hurtin me, man
Because it's pretty fuckin obvious that I just don't give a damn
(You're a jerk) I KNOW!
You think I didn't fuckin mean to be?!
You're cryin on the floor screamin "WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO ME?"
I'm a fiend, I'm a demon, and I'm probably the fuckin devil
When it comes to bein a jerk, I'm at the max fuckin level

I like violence and seeing people dying
I like disasters and seeing people crying
I'm lying about everything just because I fuckin can
I'm the dude who walks up while you're coloring in and snaps all your crayons
But then I go up in your house and kill off all of your fam
For no reason in particular, just 'cause I fuckin can
That's right, I do it all just for the hell of it
For shits and gigs for fucks and chucks I'll toss em down a well and shit
I'm the dude in Modern Warfare who's duel-wielding the pythons
Talkin Battlestar Galactica, I'm always a fuckin cylon
I'm a robotic anti-Christ with an army of succubi
My criteria for killin is simple, if you suck then you die
I'm fuckin crazy, probably, who really even knows?!
I'm walkin around in the night in some blood-covered clothes
From my nose to my toes, I got more red than a communist
Walkin around with a bomb in a box, I got you this 'cause I'm a jerk

I got dudes on the Internet like "oh, I fuckin hate Z!"
Then neglect to mention the fact that they ain't ever fuckin met me
They're all talkin shit with friends and then I try to make amends
But instead they're makin shit up that I never fuckin said
Woooah! Don't give credit where it's not due!
There's tons of shit I really said you're more than welcome to use
All 'cause I called a dude an idiot and made him fuckin cry, so now they're all running around like "Z's such a mean guy!"
They act like I'm an asshole to everyone all of the time
But in my mind I fuckin hate em for doin crimes worse than mine
They think I'm always the same and that I'm just a mean person
I'm only mean if you're annoying and if you're stupid it worsens
So get mad all you want for me bein all rude
But keep in mind it's not my fault you've got a low IQ
So before you come again and try to talk any shit
At least know who I am first you fuckin twits, I'm a jerk